Tough Love: Overcoming comparison and insecurities as a mom.

Do you view your children as trophies? What a question, right? Those words jumped out at me via a devotional in my bible in April and  I've been stewing on it since. 

I would have definitely have answered this question with a confused look and said absolutely no way a few years ago. But, as I get more parenting under my belt, I can definitely see where I have. Make no mistake, I'm not proud of it.

So, here are a couple questions to help you determine some possible trophy toting moments you may have experienced: 

• Have you ever taken credit for who they are when they are kind, show respect, or receive awards?
• Have you ever pressured your child to perform a certain way in front of others? {Totally saying ouch again because this isn't just stepping on my toes, it's like dropping a 1,000 pound boulder on my little toe!}

Seriously, though, I know I'm not the only one that feels pressured to have my kids do and be all the things.

At the end of the day, we must remember this one thing:

We want them to be most like Jesus. His ways over our ways, right? 

Before we can remind our kids that their identity isn't defined by achievements, accolades, and the opinions of others we must first remember that we aren't defined by it either. 

Are you still struggling with feeling good enough, comparison, or being liked? If so, I get it. I am pretty sure this will be a life long process of undoing what the world teaches and then taking it on again that will continue as long as we are on this side of heaven. 

So, here's a reminder for you (and me): 

Our identity is in Jesus. That doesn't mean we should go around being jerks and amount to nothing and it doesn't mean we do not set standards for our kids. It means we live our life to glorify Him and point people to the goodness of God and teach our kids to do the same. 

And, just in case you want to study some bible verses on the topic, here are a few of my favorites: 

 1 John Chapter 3 verse 1 says: How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Ephesians 2 verse 10 says: For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  

Matthew Chapter 5 verse  14-16 says: 

You are the light of the world. A city on the hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. 

P.S. I love laser coaching and offer it on the 3rd Wednesday every month. If comparison and identity is a struggle for you, I'd love to help you talk through it. Reach out to me at [email protected] and I will get you on the schedule. 

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