Practical steps for anxious women who want to leave the comfort zone and experience more of God.

This month’s challenge inside the Real Talk Tribe community is a little different than I originally anticipated.

In my planner for this month, it simply says…”Be afraid and do it anyway.”  And, well… I have actually found myself on the other side of it and realizing it isn’t super healthy to keep yourself in an anxious state and constantly feeling like you are being chased by a lion. So, with that being said, we are changing things up with this challenge a smidge.

Truthfully, it all depends on where you currently are in life. Sometimes, we need a shock to the system to help us wake up and allow ourselves to start thriving. But, at the same time, if you have experienced a lot of trauma and craziness recently, you need to be careful on how you take on this challenge. You want this to help you, not harm you.

If you currently feel like you are drowning, treading water may be exactly what you need right now to survive. But, also, if you are treading water, sometimes we don’t even realize we are still in that state when we have the ability to swim to shore. It’s clunky. You must discern for yourself where you really are in your life. If you want to chat about it, definitely reach out. I can chat with you a little more about where you are and give you individualized advice.  

Okay. So, let’s talk about the comfort zone. Up until the last 13 years, I’ve lived my entire life inside of my comfort zone. And, let me tell you… My comfort zone was small. I’m the girl who was afraid of everything. Something as simple as driving on an unfamiliar road or going to an unfamiliar store would come with intense fear. I’ve struggled with this my entire life and had no clue until a few years ago that the feelings I was feeling had a name. It’s name; Anxiety. 

While this month’s challenge is for anyone whether they have anxiety or not, I want to speak to those who feel super uncomfortable doing unfamiliar things. You do not have to leave your comfort zone completely to move forward in your life. 

Have you ever heard of the Learning Zone model? With what I know now, it makes total sense to me and I feel it is worth sharing with you.  I recently read an article that talks about it and it is mind blowing! This model explains the dangers of moving too far away from your comfort zone and describes three zones that make up your learning zone. The three zones are: Comfort Zone, Learning Zone, and Panic Zone.

The goal is to leave your comfort and enter into the learning zone steering clear of the panic zone.

 While in the comfort zone, this is where you are the most confident. It is where your routines are built, you know what you need to do, and where you can relax and typically are more unguarded. It’s a relatively safe place where you can recharge & rest. But, staying here too long without moving into the next zone can keep you stagnant and prevent you from growing into who God wants you to be. It’s safe and requires very little faith and dependency on God.  

The next zone is the Learning Zone. This zone allows you to use your knowledge and skills from your comfort zone and stretch yourself to learn and grow. It will also encourage you to rely on God, grow your faith, and become aware of what you are capable of. We often underestimate our abilities and are capable of so much more than we think. If we don’t move into the learning zone, we would never grow and learn new things. As you learn these new things, you will find that your comfort zone gets larger. What was once a learning zone step will become a comfort zone step. And, from there you will continue to expand your comfort zone more and more.

And now, about the zone nobody ever talks about… The panic zone. This is not where you want to spend your time. This is where you often feel like you are drowning and struggle to cope. This is a high stress zone that can wreak havoc on your health. 

Truth: The panic zone is a familiar place for me. It’s a place where I’ve been for the last few years because of trauma. While that is a blog post for another day, I know today I am to remind you to be careful getting caught up in the panic zone and unknowingly staying there. 

Over the last few years I have experienced health issues that are all related to stress. It started as lip and facial swelling and escalated to frequent headaches, intense anxiety, weight gain, and high blood pressure. Finally, my blood pressure was getting so high, I consulted with a doctor and also reached out to a friend who is a functional health & wellness coach. I explained some of the things that have happened over the last few years and my friend told me it’s because my body believes I’m continuously being chased by a lion. I’ve been in fight or flight mode. And, while God has created us to be able to fight and run, it isn’t sustainable to continue to be in that space for a long period of time.

I had become so used to it, I continuously put myself in situations to stay there. Some examples of it included: HIIT workouts, challenging myself every month to try new things, and then the very necessary things I’m already dealing with regularly related to the trauma and major conflict in my life.

I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do and made a bad situation so much worse. Instead of trying to kill it on a treadmill, I should have been choosing yoga or walking. Instead of challenging myself to face every fear, I should have nurtured my soul a little more and gave myself grace during a very stressful season.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know until now. And, because of that, I want you to know the panic zone is not a healthy place. If you are there, you need support. Reach out to someone who can understand and help you.

And, if you have read this far, you may be asking yourself this question. How do we lean into the learning zone and  yet not allow ourselves to get into the debilitating state of the panic zone?

Baby steps. Instead of jumping into the deep end and not knowing whether you will swim or float, consider tip-toeing your way into something new. It doesn’t have to be a radical change or new approach. Build on what you already know or do. 

Also, find your people. To get the most out of the learning zone, you must feel safe.You need a trustworthy tribe who will look out for you and fight for you when you are unable to fight for yourself. Surround yourself with people who speak life, encourage, and also provide practical advice. Your tribe may only include one or two people but quality counts more than quantity in this instance. (And, not to be super annoying and redundant, but this is where the Real Talk Tribe and Success Lounge comes in. We would be honored to be a part of your tribe. XO XO)

If you would like to read the mind blowing blog article I am referring to, here's the link. It's SO good!  

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/learning-zone-model.htm

 P.S.S.  For more ideas and encouragement, join us. You don't have to do it alone ->Real Talk Tribe free community

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